[0.0s] Welcome to the big interlude.
[4.0s] What do you guys think?
[5.6s] I love it.
[6.4s] I like it.
[7.3s] You know what, I like it,
[8.1s] but now I'm hearing big interlude.
[8.9s] I think it's very good.
[9.8s] Well, it is a big interlude.
[11.6s] The big interlude.
[12.6s] Really stress that big interlude.
[15.0s] Big interlude.
[16.1s] I teach a lot of Chinese children,
[17.5s] so that just sounds like big to me.
[19.4s] Well, I mean, we can't please everybody, can we?
[22.8s] This is true. We can try.
[24.1s] We're coming to you off the top today.
[26.7s] There will still be a welcome
[27.8s] to Dumbgeons and Dragons coming up,
[29.0s] but we're coming to you off the top today
[30.1s] because this is the arc finale.
[33.2s] We want to say a big thank you to our Tiamat,
[36.8s] Sean Howard.
[38.0s] Thank you, Sean.
[39.1s] Fantastic.
[39.9s] Thank you, Sean.
[40.8s] Thank you so much, Sean,
[41.6s] once you listen to the episode.
[42.4s] It's a day of delight.
[43.4s] And if you don't already listen
[45.6s] to End of Time and Other Bothers or Alba Salix,
[49.2s] please do because they're both super fantastic shows.
[52.4s] End of Time and Other Bothers
[53.3s] is another actual play.
[54.4s] They use the Dungeon World game set
[57.1s] and they're hilarious.
[58.3s] It's all improv, it's all super fantastic.
[61.5s] And Alba Salix is a full audio drama,
[63.8s] scripted audio drama that he
[65.3s] and his partner Eli put together.
[67.5s] So go visit them, OtherBothers.com and AlbaSalix.com.
[71.2s] I'll link those down in the show notes again this week.
[74.1s] Please go listen to them.
[75.5s] If you're listening to this on the day it comes out,
[78.0s] our special offer on Patreon will still be going on
[81.0s] till the end of the day.
[82.6s] So you still have a chance.
[84.4s] Well, it's not a chance.
[85.4s] I mean, if you sign up for it.
[87.5s] You either do or you don't.
[88.9s] It's not a contest.
[89.8s] It's an immediate reward based upon your action.
[92.6s] Yep.
[93.4s] If you sign up for the special,
[94.3s] if you sign up with us before I think it's midnight
[96.9s] tonight, you get the special exclusive sticker pack.
[101.9s] That's at the $5 or higher tier if you sign up.
[106.5s] Yeah.
[107.4s] And you can upgrade too.
[108.3s] You don't have to be new.
[109.3s] If you're already a patron, you just can upgrade.
[111.6s] And then you'll also get those dope stickers.
[113.5s] Dope-ass stickers.
[114.3s] Damn straight.
[115.6s] New and upgrading patrons at that $5 level
[118.0s] and higher over on Patreon
[119.7s] where we've got lots of great stuff for you.
[121.0s] Over 20 hours of bonus content
[123.0s] and that's growing every month.
[124.5s] Whoa, when you say it that way, that seems like a lot.
[126.7s] I know it seems like a lot.
[127.6s] It's over 20 hours.
[129.0s] That's a lot of stuff.
[129.9s] That's awesome.
[130.8s] Another hour-ish every month.
[133.3s] It's a lot of cool stuff over there.
[135.5s] Guys, we spend so much time together.
[138.2s] We really do.
[139.1s] It's true. It's great.
[139.9s] That's nice.
[140.7s] That's a nice way of looking at it.
[141.6s] It's like we like each other.
[143.2s] Maybe a little bit.
[144.0s] Yeah.
[145.9s] We like each other and we like our patrons
[148.6s] and we like you too.
[149.5s] So hopefully you can come join us.
[151.3s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[153.6s] Special offer is the day you're listening to this
[156.1s] being May 1st is still going on.
[158.3s] And if it's after that, we still have Patreon
[160.2s] and still lots of cool, great rewards
[161.8s] that we want you to go check out there too.
[164.1s] Now it's the finale.
[166.4s] What's the plan going forward?
[167.8s] We'll try and sum this up quickly
[169.2s] so we can get you to the episode.
[170.9s] If you've already skipped,
[172.0s] well, you're already at the episode.
[173.8s] But if you didn't and you stuck through,
[175.2s] I'll stop rambling.
[176.3s] So going forward,
[177.2s] we're gonna take a little bit of a break.
[179.2s] So we'll be back with regular episodes on June 5th.
[183.9s] I know it's four weeks.
[185.9s] That's only a month.
[186.9s] It's only a month.
[188.1s] And you know what we're gonna do
[189.2s] is we're gonna get together a sort of mailbag episode
[193.3s] where we need your help.
[195.5s] What can they do to help us, somebody?
[197.4s] They can totally write in questions
[201.0s] or comments, reviews,
[204.6s] pretty much just anything
[206.0s] that maybe you'd like to hear us read.
[208.5s] And answer.
[209.4s] And we would love to do that on a mailbag episode
[212.0s] to shorten that gap between when we're here
[215.6s] and when we're not here.
[216.9s] Yeah, if there's any questions
[218.1s] that you've been sitting on this entire time,
[221.0s] send them our way.
[222.1s] We'd love to answer them.
[223.2s] Or if you wanna tell us all of the things
[226.0s] that we forgot to do that we should have done.
[227.8s] That's fine too.
[228.7s] That's totally fine.
[229.5s] It's how we learn.
[231.4s] Well, it's how we hear and then forget.
[235.1s] We're doing our best.
[236.8s] Hey, here's an important thing.
[238.6s] What's the email address for people
[240.2s] to send us those questions and thoughts and comments?
[242.9s] You know what?
[243.7s] Just put it out into the atmosphere and we'll get it.
[245.7s] We'll just pluck it out of the ether.
[247.9s] But we could also just say the email address too.
[250.2s] I mean, we could do that too.
[251.2s] DumbDragonPodcast at gmail.com.
[254.5s] We'd love to get all your questions
[257.3s] that you have throughout the season.
[260.3s] We will not be revealing any spoilers, obviously,
[263.2s] but if we can answer anything about the future,
[264.9s] we will definitely do that.
[266.7s] And any questions that arise during the finale.
[268.9s] And Russ, what's the Twitter handle
[270.3s] in case anyone wants to get a hold of us that way?
[272.4s] At DumbDragonCast on Facebook,
[275.5s] we're DumbDragonPodcast.
[277.8s] You can find us on the Facebook group.
[279.3s] The Reckless Play Guild.
[280.9s] So you can find us in a lot of places.
[282.3s] So many places.
[283.1s] And now we'll stop rambling
[284.7s] and get you to the episode.
[286.2s] Thank you for listening.
[288.0s] We love you all.
[288.8s] And we'll talk to you again very, very soon.
[292.1s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[294.7s] In an instant, you see three glowing golden globes
[299.1s] land at your feet.
[302.7s] They explode.
[304.7s] And an energy washes over top of you
[308.1s] as you regain 70 hit points each
[311.4s] and all of your spell slots
[313.7s] as the earth begins to shake.
[316.6s] And you hear a sickening roar.
[323.6s] And Severin yells, the time is now.
[328.7s] As the snout of the largest dragon you've ever seen
[334.4s] starts to come into the chamber.
[337.0s] Light and fire pour into the temple of Tiamat.
[341.6s] You see the red snout followed by the green
[345.4s] and the black and the white and the blue pour in.
[349.2s] Tiamat is here.
[352.3s] Your world has already ended.
[360.8s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[363.9s] We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast
[366.2s] and I am your dungeon master, your Russ More.
[369.5s] I forgot my name.
[370.8s] I was very, very flustered for a second there.
[373.4s] With me today is Amy More.
[376.1s] But maybe not for long.
[378.0s] And I play Thea Amastasia.
[379.9s] You can take that however you want
[381.3s] because there's marital repercussions
[383.7s] to what happens in the D&D game.
[386.7s] Also with me, Tom Laird.
[390.3s] Don't worry, Russ.
[391.2s] I got your back.
[392.3s] Thanks, bud.
[393.2s] We're good.
[394.5s] I play Flint Firebeard, but yeah,
[396.4s] from the sounds of it, not for much longer.
[398.1s] And Carla Johnson.
[400.5s] I mean, we knew it was inevitable, guys.
[403.6s] He's been saying it for years.
[404.4s] It's been stated time and time again.
[406.0s] I play a new Laura Moonbrook
[408.1s] for like maybe another 20 minutes or something.
[410.3s] I don't know.
[411.1s] We'll see.
[412.9s] Also with us, a very special guest
[415.1s] who made a dramatic guest appearance
[418.1s] at the end of last episode.
[420.0s] From the End of Time, Another Bothers
[421.7s] and Alba Salix, Sean Howard.
[424.1s] Hey, everyone.
[425.6s] Yay, ba-boo, ba-yay, ba-boo.
[428.1s] It just seems like it's funny here again.
[431.0s] If you want to see that dramatic arrival of Sean,
[436.3s] mostly us just kind of sitting around being like,
[438.2s] when's Sean gonna show up?
[439.2s] Definitely didn't have to wait four minutes.
[441.1s] Well, it's funny,
[442.0s] because my phone switched into sleep mode
[444.3s] where it turned on,
[445.5s] you know, it turned on like,
[447.6s] don't send any notifications.
[448.8s] It was just sitting here waiting.
[450.5s] You can go see that on our Patreon,
[451.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[453.5s] where we've got the recordings
[455.0s] of all of these episodes up there
[456.5s] for our lovely patrons to see.
[458.2s] Plus an episode gets dedicated to a patron every time.
[462.5s] That was a weird way to say that,
[463.6s] but I said it anyways.
[465.0s] And today's episode is dedicated to Joshua Dixon.
[468.0s] Yay, thanks, Joshua.
[470.2s] Thanks, Josh.
[471.5s] We love that dude.
[472.8s] Wow, what an episode to have dedicated to you.
[475.6s] The one where we die, Josh.
[479.2s] This is an epic episode.
[481.0s] So thank you for your contributions.
[483.3s] The podcast may or may not be over after this.
[485.4s] Well, we'll wait and see.
[486.5s] No, we got new characters.
[487.5s] It's fine.
[488.4s] We're gonna be okay.
[489.6s] If you want to join us on Patreon,
[490.8s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[492.6s] That's where you can find it.
[494.6s] Fuck it.
[496.3s] Let's play D&D.
[497.8s] Yeah.
[505.2s] You have been thrown backwards
[509.0s] towards the wall and spires of the Temple of Tiamat.
[514.2s] In front of you,
[516.6s] you see the largest dragon you have ever seen.
[524.9s] The five heads of Tiamat rise out of this portal
[529.6s] in the floor, reaching up out of hell itself,
[534.6s] climbing up and out towards you and the material portal.
[543.4s] Come to me, my children.
[554.0s] The wizards begin to float down and towards Tiamat,
[558.3s] severing eye to eye with Tiamat in the air.
[564.2s] The ones on the ground begin to move forward
[566.4s] in reverence and fear a little bit,
[570.5s] but mostly reverence,
[572.4s] as they begin their trek towards
[575.8s] and at the feet of their queen.
[580.2s] Tiamat slams her tail on the ground and eats five.
[589.4s] Five on the ground as quick as an eye
[593.7s] before they know what's happening,
[596.4s] let out a muffled scream that is quickly silenced
[599.7s] as they go down the gullet of the giant dragon.
[603.9s] There are two remaining and Severin as well.
[607.4s] Severin says, my queen,
[612.0s] why?
[613.0s] Wait, I'm still chewing.
[618.7s] I understand, sacrifices need to be made.
[624.6s] And she eats the other two.
[630.1s] With them out of our way, those red wizards,
[636.2s] we will usher forth the dawn of a new world.
[642.5s] Yes, we will.
[644.3s] Bring me the mask, Severin.
[649.0s] He begins to float down
[650.6s] and removes the five colored dragon mask
[654.6s] and lays it at the feet of Tiamat.
[657.6s] We have collected this for you
[659.2s] to bring power and to bring you into the material plane.
[664.5s] You have done nothing, nothing.
[668.0s] And she eats Severin like one of those cherry tomatoes
[672.4s] in her largest ma, squirting juices across the room.
[679.5s] If he backs up a bit,
[680.5s] she don't want to get any of that on her.
[683.3s] Can I back up a little bit?
[684.4s] You can do whatever you want.
[686.2s] Does anybody else do anything?
[687.2s] I'm just gonna come over here
[688.5s] and just like, you know, protect the clothes.
[692.8s] Protect the clothes.
[697.5s] Anybody else?
[698.4s] Can I cast a spell under my breath?
[699.6s] Like, can I just?
[701.0s] Yeah, absolutely, you can.
[701.9s] Oh, I'd like to do that.
[704.7s] I would like to cast Ice Storm.
[711.2s] Which is a level four spell.
[713.4s] Which is a level four spell.
[716.4s] The dragon has to make a dexterity saving throw.
[719.0s] I bet it does.
[720.0s] Don't talk to me.
[722.7s] Talk to the dragon.
[723.5s] Oh, the dragon, you're the dragon.
[726.6s] The red head moves down, down,
[730.2s] down towards this strange elf-like creature
[735.1s] and pauses right in front
[737.0s] as Thea finishes casting her spell
[740.4s] and licks her lips, cocking her head.
[746.4s] Did my spell not work?
[748.3s] The spell leaves your hands
[753.2s] but dissipates almost immediately.
[756.6s] Fuck.
[757.6s] Would you like to try that again, child?
[764.7s] Oh my goodness.
[765.6s] Sorry, I'm just so shocked.
[767.6s] I'll give it, Flint and Ular,
[769.9s] I'll give you one rebuttal here before-
[773.5s] Don't let him eat me!
[776.4s] Can I move?
[780.0s] No, I don't wanna move.
[781.8s] I'm gonna pick between two things,
[783.6s] so I have to like, I'm just gonna roll a d4
[785.6s] to decide for myself.
[787.0s] That was not a d4.
[787.8s] Yeah, good, do that.
[789.2s] Her nostrils flare as she sniffs the scent of this elf.
[796.4s] She probably smells pee.
[798.3s] Because I'm pretty sure it's by myself.
[803.5s] You're like, mmm, urine.
[805.0s] Roll for pee.
[805.8s] Roll for pee!
[808.4s] Can I take my-
[809.8s] Successful.
[810.9s] Can I drink my potion?
[814.0s] Yeah, which potion did you have?
[815.9s] Glass jelly?
[816.8s] The bee's knees, I think you had.
[818.7s] Glass jelly?
[819.7s] I don't know what it does, but I'm about to die,
[821.3s] so I may as well, what am I saving it for?
[823.6s] Right?
[825.2s] Yeah.
[826.1s] Turns me into dragon food.
[827.3s] You uncork this jelly,
[829.8s] you give it a sniff before you take it,
[832.5s] and the ground begins to shake
[834.2s] and it leaves your hands
[839.4s] and crashes down and shatters on your blade,
[843.4s] bringing a glowing aura to it.
[847.9s] As the oil of sharpness now gives your blade
[851.9s] that you were holding plus three to attack and damage.
[857.2s] Nice.
[858.8s] So it was not what you were supposed to drink.
[860.8s] Right.
[861.6s] Well, I guess I didn't drink it.
[864.2s] It's like full circle there, really good though.
[866.1s] Yeah, it was.
[867.6s] I know, as soon as he said, like, it falls,
[869.4s] I was like-
[871.0s] I know, I was ready to, like,
[872.6s] take him out just for Carla.
[874.5s] Like, not again!
[876.7s] All right.
[880.0s] Is that what you're doing?
[882.9s] Okay.
[884.1s] Can I see her do this
[884.9s] and also slowly take a potion out of my satchel?
[889.0s] Yeah, but you can't drink it til your next turn.
[890.5s] Okay.
[891.8s] I mean, yeah, at this rate,
[892.8s] I might as well drink my last fun potion
[896.3s] that I don't know what it does.
[897.2s] All right, what did you get?
[899.2s] The bee's knees.
[900.8s] A black and yellow swirling liquid.
[903.4s] You pop the cork and drink it down quick.
[907.4s] And you feel like you can move super fast.
[911.3s] Your muscles begin to vibrate as you gain haste.
[916.6s] So your speed is doubled for one minute.
[919.6s] You have a plus two to your AC.
[921.6s] Okay.
[923.1s] You have a advantage on dexterity saving throws
[926.6s] and you get one more action per turn.
[929.0s] See, this is what I thought Andres Gojuice
[930.8s] was gonna do when I drank it.
[932.3s] But this is the fucking bee's knees.
[934.2s] It really is the bee's knees.
[935.1s] I want a potion called the cat's pajamas.
[936.8s] Also, you know who needs another action?
[938.4s] It's fucking Flynn.
[939.7s] That's right.
[940.5s] Right?
[941.3s] I never wanted to play anyway.
[942.6s] What does Tiamat do as she sees these peons drinking-
[947.1s] She ignores them.
[948.0s] Just drinking juice.
[949.2s] Just sitting back here like-
[950.1s] A second and a third head approach Thea.
[954.8s] Nostrils flaring.
[957.9s] And what is your name, child?
[959.6s] Oh.
[962.9s] Thea?
[966.6s] Your Highness?
[969.4s] Correct.
[970.8s] You're so much more big and beautiful
[972.4s] than I thought you'd be.
[975.6s] You do not appear to be part of the cult.
[979.0s] Well, I hold up-
[983.2s] Wait for it.
[984.2s] I hold up my Cult of the Dragon amulet,
[989.5s] which I totally fucking have in my treasure.
[993.6s] Oh, good.
[995.1s] You are a dessert.
[996.8s] And with that, she attacks.
[998.8s] No, no!
[999.9s] As Tiamat opens her giant jaws to move towards Thea.
[1005.4s] Thea, you get first action.
[1007.5s] Oh, fuck.
[1009.3s] Thea goes, fuck no!
[1011.1s] I wanna drink my fucking potion
[1012.3s] because everyone else seems to.
[1013.3s] It's hidden talents.
[1015.2s] Okay.
[1016.0s] This seems empty,
[1016.8s] but I'm gonna drink it anyway
[1017.8s] because it feels full.
[1018.8s] You see the jaws moving towards you.
[1021.0s] You quickly pop the cork and down it and you disappear.
[1027.8s] I do believe I have true sight.
[1031.2s] Oh, you can still see me?
[1032.1s] Just checking.
[1033.6s] Yep, yep, yep.
[1035.4s] Nothing I do for her.
[1037.5s] What are you doing on your real action, little elf?
[1040.9s] Fuck.
[1044.1s] Tiamat, see through your bullshit.
[1045.8s] So now your friends can't see you,
[1047.5s] but Tiamat can see you.
[1048.8s] I think it's nothing, right?
[1050.4s] And Flynn and I are like, what the fuck?
[1052.7s] Cause she just disappeared.
[1054.2s] No guys, I'm still here, so sorry.
[1057.6s] Okay, I'm gonna ear a creature from hell.
[1060.8s] I'm gonna throw some sun on ya.
[1064.1s] I'm gonna cast sunbeam.
[1066.9s] So I take out a magnifying glass.
[1068.6s] Yes.
[1071.0s] It's a novelty size magnifying glass.
[1072.9s] The biggest treasure we've ever seen.
[1074.6s] Throw a fucking big.
[1077.8s] Yeah.
[1078.6s] And a beam of brilliant light flashes out
[1081.6s] in a five foot wide, 60 foot line.
[1084.8s] Tiamat has to make a constitution saving throw.
[1088.5s] It's probably low con on Tiamat.
[1091.2s] No problem.
[1092.2s] Probably.
[1093.6s] That's a 15.
[1095.4s] Russ?
[1097.4s] Doesn't work.
[1099.4s] I choose for it to work, Russ.
[1101.5s] Oh, fuck yourself.
[1103.4s] Okay, you take half my damage,
[1106.1s] and you aren't blinded, fine.
[1109.2s] You're gonna take half of my 68.
[1113.9s] And it's a concentration.
[1116.8s] So you got that for up to one minute.
[1118.6s] Yes, I do.
[1120.4s] 29 damage, so half of 29 is, you do the math.
[1124.6s] 14 radiant damage.
[1127.5s] And can I move?
[1130.3s] I would advise it.
[1131.2s] I want to.
[1133.1s] I wanna move.
[1134.9s] Tiam moves.
[1136.6s] So you basically move just outside the giant jaws
[1139.2s] as they snap closed.
[1140.8s] Flint, it is your turn.
[1143.3s] So that was the red head that was in front of Thea?
[1147.6s] Yes.
[1148.5s] Okay, I'm gonna run over and attack
[1150.5s] that red head of Tiamat.
[1154.4s] Oh, hello, little one.
[1158.0s] What's up?
[1158.9s] Would a 26 hit?
[1161.2s] That would hit.
[1163.0s] All right.
[1164.3s] So that is 26 damage, 10 of which is cold damage.
[1168.7s] I have to ask if it's a magical weapon.
[1170.3s] From a magical weapon, yes.
[1172.3s] 26, what did you say about cold?
[1174.6s] 10 cold.
[1175.6s] Yeah, I believe I have immunity to that.
[1179.2s] All right, you got three more attacks there, Flint.
[1180.9s] Yeah, it's gonna continue onward here.
[1183.3s] That's a 28 that time.
[1185.8s] Yep.
[1188.4s] 28 damage on that one, eight of which is cold.
[1191.5s] That's perfect.
[1192.7s] Do you need me to break it down for you
[1194.0s] or do you just want the full number?
[1196.1s] He's immune to cold.
[1197.1s] It's perfect.
[1197.9s] Oh, okay, all right.
[1199.4s] Then I'll just stop rolling cold damage then.
[1201.6s] That saves me rolling extra dice.
[1205.1s] All right, third attack.
[1206.7s] That's a 37.
[1208.9s] Jesus Christ.
[1210.5s] Sorry, 31.
[1212.7s] Just gonna say, how did you get it?
[1214.8s] Yeah.
[1215.6s] Still really impressive.
[1216.5s] It was insane.
[1217.5s] I narrowly missed a crit.
[1220.4s] All right, here we go.
[1222.3s] So that's 23 damage
[1225.5s] without any cold.
[1226.8s] That was a good one.
[1227.7s] It's full damage.
[1229.9s] And final one.
[1232.4s] Ooh, that's not gonna cut it.
[1235.9s] Don't worry about it.
[1236.8s] Swings go up and they strike into the neck and the face
[1241.2s] as Tiamat is almost taunting you.
[1244.6s] They hit, the cold disperses
[1247.3s] where normally it would absorb into your target.
[1250.0s] It seems like it almost falls off.
[1254.4s] Tiamat's red head lifts and responds
[1260.9s] with a cone of 90 feet of flame
[1263.2s] centered right on this little dwarf.
[1267.7s] Seems fair.
[1270.5s] It's a tip for tat.
[1272.7s] So you, whoever's caught in the 90 foot cone, Russ,
[1276.4s] is gonna have to make a DC 27 dexterity saving throw.
[1279.3s] That's gonna be Flint and new Laura
[1283.6s] is gonna probably catch that cone as well.
[1286.9s] God, 90 feet, that's huge.
[1293.1s] Apologies, Kyle. That's okay.
[1294.2s] Deck save.
[1295.2s] Deck save, DC 27.
[1297.0s] Okay. All right.
[1298.4s] I also have advantage on saving throws
[1300.7s] against dragon shit.
[1303.4s] I'm just, all this stuff is dragon shit.
[1309.0s] So that is a 19 and that is a 13.
[1314.4s] So 19.
[1316.0s] It's a 20 for me, Russ,
[1317.1s] but it wasn't a crit or anything.
[1318.9s] Sorry everyone, it's 26 D6.
[1322.0s] What? Oh my God.
[1323.5s] That seems like a few.
[1325.8s] That's 76.
[1327.1s] Okay.
[1328.3s] Fire damage that erupts from Tiamat's maw
[1333.1s] and rolls out onto the ground in front of you,
[1336.1s] engulfing you both.
[1338.6s] Oh my goodness.
[1341.8s] Cool.
[1343.3s] As that happens, a beam of radiant light
[1347.4s] emerges through the cracked open wall
[1351.0s] and on a hippogriff in flies Lady Leral Silverhand.
[1355.8s] She's like, the fuck are you guys doing?
[1359.0s] We did a bad thing.
[1360.2s] Maybe you should have showed up a round ago.
[1362.4s] I'm cooking my dinner.
[1364.8s] From her, she casts magic missile at level nine.
[1370.3s] Yes, damn.
[1371.1s] Yeah, she does.
[1372.4s] I don't get a saving throw on that.
[1374.4s] No, that's no save.
[1375.7s] That just happened.
[1376.6s] So that's 11 D4 plus 11.
[1381.0s] And that is 34 magical force damage.
[1390.0s] As all of these bolts fly out
[1392.3s] and strike into Tiamat's broadside,
[1395.1s] she flies in and begins swirling around the perimeter.
[1400.2s] Tiamat roars in one of her heads.
[1404.8s] The black head dashes out
[1408.3s] and basically goes to bite her,
[1410.6s] hopefully right off whatever she's flying on.
[1413.1s] Yeah, that's probably gonna happen.
[1414.7s] Unharming the hippogriff.
[1416.8s] But unharming the hippogriff,
[1417.9s] because I don't do hippogriffs.
[1421.5s] So that is a 22.
[1424.8s] You hit her.
[1427.4s] So that is a bite.
[1429.3s] So that is 14, 19, 20, 22.
[1435.5s] You see the black head strike out at her
[1437.3s] as she swiftly tries to move around.
[1439.0s] She is knocked clean off of the hippogriff
[1444.0s] and falls to the ground.
[1446.3s] Her skin begins to boil from the acid of this bite.
[1451.2s] The hippogriff panics and begins flying quickly
[1454.0s] around the roof of this building.
[1458.6s] Yulara.
[1460.2s] Okay.
[1461.4s] I say contigo.
[1464.0s] So my animated armor animates,
[1467.0s] and that gives me a plus two to my AC.
[1469.6s] Then, as a bonus action,
[1472.2s] I cast Hunter's Mark,
[1474.0s] which will give me an extra D6 damage,
[1476.2s] which isn't much,
[1477.2s] but I'll take what I can fucking get.
[1479.0s] And then I'm, what one's closest?
[1482.0s] Red?
[1482.8s] Black, red.
[1484.4s] You may have whatever head you want, child.
[1486.6s] I don't care.
[1492.2s] Yeah, whatever head's closest,
[1493.5s] which I feel like is the red one.
[1495.6s] I am going to attack with Dragon Slayer.
[1502.6s] Okay.
[1503.5s] The aptly named Dragon Slayer prepared a die to you, Matt,
[1505.7s] from this one attack.
[1508.6s] Not really.
[1510.4s] 18.
[1512.5s] I'm afraid that's not a hit.
[1513.4s] Yeah, of course it's not.
[1515.1s] Of course it's not.
[1516.9s] But I know that blade.
[1519.1s] I'm gonna try again,
[1520.8s] because of course I am.
[1523.1s] Oh.
[1524.8s] Okay.
[1525.6s] It's 28.
[1526.4s] That's a hit?
[1527.6s] Okay.
[1529.6s] We'll buckle up, my friends,
[1530.9s] because my time has come to shine.
[1533.0s] Dragons are the only things that I get lots of damage against.
[1538.3s] So.
[1539.1s] Yeah, you do.
[1540.0s] What's with all those dice?
[1540.8s] It's not 26.
[1541.7s] Shake those dice.
[1544.2s] 26 plus 14 is 38?
[1551.0s] 40.
[1552.8s] Okay.
[1556.8s] Yeah.
[1557.6s] So, 40.
[1559.4s] Tiamat hisses and all the heads turn all focused.
[1567.3s] You will pay for that.
[1569.0s] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
[1570.6s] Well, now.
[1572.5s] Okay, I'm gonna like, move, I guess.
[1575.8s] I immediately react,
[1578.0s] and one of those heads
[1580.0s] kisses forward to bite you,
[1582.6s] and you are in the face.
[1585.5s] Oh, in the face.
[1586.3s] In the face.
[1587.2s] I mean, that's some pretty dexterous biting
[1588.4s] from the size of this head.
[1589.9s] It'll be the blue head, 19 to hit, 25.
[1593.1s] Fuck.
[1594.0s] I mean, obviously that hits.
[1599.0s] 14.
[1601.8s] And then 46 of lightning damage,
[1604.3s] unless you're resistant to that.
[1607.4s] But I have to subtract 15, so.
[1610.8s] Which I'm pretty sure we all are.
[1612.2s] Nothing.
[1613.0s] Nothing from the lightning damage.
[1613.8s] Because you guys got to round two.
[1617.2s] So, just 14 damage from the bite, and you are.
[1620.2s] Oh, I mean, my face is probably gone, but okay.
[1625.4s] Well, Donnie is not gonna take that.
[1627.9s] Donnie is not gonna use his breath weapon,
[1631.3s] because what the fuck good would that be against a dragon?
[1633.7s] None good.
[1634.7s] None good damage.
[1636.4s] None good?
[1637.2s] I guess Donnie, the love of my life,
[1640.7s] is gonna just try and bite to get mad.
[1644.8s] Yeah, he is.
[1647.0s] Is Donnie considered a magical weapon for us?
[1650.5s] No.
[1651.4s] Oh, goodness.
[1652.2s] Oh, God, look at Russ' face.
[1656.3s] Okay, so that is a 14, which is obviously not a hit.
[1660.4s] Oh, Donnie, I love you so much.
[1662.8s] So Donnie flies forward trying to bite
[1665.0s] at this gargantuan dragon in front of him.
[1668.6s] This multi-story high dragon.
[1671.3s] He's like a terrier, man.
[1672.8s] He's like, someone, get this thing away from me.
[1676.2s] Me?
[1678.0s] Another thing. Control your dog.
[1680.0s] I know that doesn't hit either, but he had to try.
[1683.1s] He would not try.
[1685.4s] It is the end of Donnie's turn.
[1688.5s] Any rebuttals?
[1690.0s] Not for Donnie.
[1691.5s] No.
[1692.7s] All right.
[1693.6s] And then it is the start of Tiamat's turn.
[1697.4s] I'm cruel, but I'm not that cruel.
[1700.8s] We just don't need worshippers.
[1702.0s] But he probably would, like, it's a, he, she,
[1705.4s] like, it is a cute, like, little dragon.
[1708.0s] It's a baby dragon.
[1710.0s] Just, like, show him away.
[1711.4s] It is the time of dragons, after all.
[1714.0s] Oh, yeah, maybe we just call it a day
[1715.9s] on this dragon bullshit, then,
[1717.3s] and go be better than this.
[1720.5s] I will eat you all.
[1724.2s] Okay, good, good.
[1725.2s] Guys, she's gonna go eat us all.
[1727.8s] Just thought you should know.
[1729.8s] Gonna go park the car.
[1733.6s] Tiamat, you're up.
[1735.6s] I'm afraid Tiamat is very focused on a certain Nulara,
[1741.1s] and Tiamat charges forward with two claw attacks
[1745.0s] and her tail spinning around to spear Nulara
[1748.8s] through her center.
[1750.7s] I will roll all three.
[1753.7s] I'm gonna die, you guys.
[1755.6s] Just so you know, I'm about to die.
[1757.3s] That is a 23 to hit.
[1759.6s] Mm-hmm, that'll do it.
[1760.6s] That is a 43.
[1765.1s] 43?
[1766.1s] Oh, what?
[1766.9s] And a 24.
[1768.0s] I mean, obviously, those all hit, yeah.
[1769.8s] Oh, okay.
[1772.0s] So that's 15 from the first claw,
[1774.5s] nine from the second claw,
[1777.6s] and six from the tail.
[1780.0s] So just a cool 30.
[1781.1s] Don't worry about it.
[1782.0s] I'm so close to dying, you guys.
[1783.6s] You should already be dead.
[1785.4s] What is it with you?
[1786.8s] Severn was nothing.
[1788.4s] I see a yell from behind.
[1789.7s] Severn was a pussy.
[1791.4s] I actually agree.
[1792.7s] Two of the heads turn around.
[1797.4s] Tiamat's heads turn to face you, Thea,
[1800.5s] as it is your turn.
[1802.1s] Hey, it's me.
[1804.5s] Hey, guys, it's me, Thea.
[1805.6s] Remember me from last round?
[1807.2s] You have two dragon heads that come swooping around
[1810.9s] and are back in front of you.
[1814.5s] Okay.
[1816.3s] So sorry.
[1819.2s] None of my spells will work
[1821.6s] unless it is level seven.
[1823.6s] Not even my cantrips.
[1825.0s] Who knows what level those are.
[1828.7s] Levels, you need to be level seven or higher.
[1833.8s] Okay.
[1835.4s] Guys, it's not gonna go well for us.
[1836.8s] Guys, I am not a high enough spell caster.
[1842.2s] Okay, well, I've gotta keep,
[1845.6s] I'm gonna create a new line of radiance.
[1847.7s] We'll all just wait for you to figure out
[1848.6s] what you wanna do, little elf.
[1852.0s] I'm gonna create a new line of radiance.
[1853.9s] So I blast again with my magnifying glass
[1858.2s] a beam of sunlight.
[1861.0s] Do you save on your constitution saving?
[1864.1s] Uh, yeah, I'm afraid I save.
[1867.8s] Yeah, pretty sure you do.
[1870.2s] Okay, so 10 radiant damage.
[1875.3s] You see some of the scales bubble on her?
[1877.7s] Good, yeah.
[1879.0s] Bubble baby.
[1882.4s] Okay, I'm done.
[1885.4s] I'm gonna move though.
[1886.7s] Oh yes, run elf, run.
[1889.2s] I am.
[1890.9s] You begin to run away from Tiamat
[1895.1s] as the open maw of the dragon queen follows behind you.
[1899.4s] Guacamole is also going to fly her 60 feet.
[1902.6s] All right, Guacamole who you might not have noticed,
[1906.2s] you probably noticed,
[1907.0s] but just didn't really pay attention.
[1908.8s] A giant snowy owl swoops
[1911.0s] into your peripheral there, Tiamat.
[1913.3s] We have room for owls in our new dragon world.
[1917.3s] But no elves or dwarves or humans.
[1922.0s] Tiamat's green head turns to follow the elf
[1924.8s] as the other heads turn towards the dwarf.
[1928.3s] And the green head emits a cone of poison 90 feet
[1934.7s] trying to catch the elf.
[1935.8s] For us, you can decide if it catches her or not.
[1938.3s] The poison cloud will catch you.
[1940.9s] Well, that kills the elf.
[1941.9s] I will focus on the other two.
[1943.2s] A giant green cloud fills the room
[1945.9s] blocking the light around where Thea is uncertain.
[1951.0s] If she has killed the elf,
[1953.4s] she turns back to focus towards Flint and Nulara.
[1957.4s] Uh, okay.
[1958.3s] So there's several heads that are currently looking at me?
[1961.5s] Yes.
[1963.4s] Okay.
[1964.6s] Well, let's just start attacking them.
[1967.5s] Are you still immune to cold, Tiamat?
[1969.8s] Is that still a thing that's happening?
[1972.0s] I believe it is.
[1973.6s] Okay.
[1974.4s] All right.
[1975.3s] First of four attacks.
[1976.5s] That is a 30.
[1979.0s] That is a hit.
[1981.5s] Perfect.
[1982.6s] I get to reroll that damage
[1984.1s] because it was a one.
[1985.8s] So that is 21 points of damage.
[1990.0s] 4,000 more to go.
[1991.4s] Second attack.
[1994.1s] That is a 27.
[1996.2s] That is a hit.
[1998.9s] Followed up by 17 points of damage.
[2004.8s] Third attack.
[2007.4s] I don't think this one's gonna cut it.
[2009.1s] 21?
[2010.6s] She catches your sword in her mouth
[2012.7s] and spits it aside.
[2015.3s] Sure, sure, sure.
[2016.2s] Makes sense, makes sense, makes sense.
[2018.2s] Uh, fourth attack.
[2021.0s] Critical 20.
[2022.3s] With what weapon?
[2023.2s] With what weapon?
[2024.1s] He spit your sword aside.
[2026.4s] What?
[2027.2s] When did that happen?
[2028.1s] He just said it.
[2028.9s] He just said it.
[2029.7s] He said, cool, cool, cool, cool.
[2030.6s] Oh, sorry.
[2031.4s] I did not hear that.
[2032.2s] No, it wasn't actually cool.
[2034.2s] Uh, yeah, that doesn't sound cool.
[2035.8s] Um, I guess I'll grab a secondary weapon
[2039.0s] like I still got my battle axe.
[2041.2s] Tiamat grabs your sword and spits it to the side,
[2044.4s] grinning back at you
[2045.5s] as you swiftly grab your axe
[2047.6s] and come down with this crit.
[2049.5s] Let's do that then.
[2051.7s] All right.
[2052.5s] 24 damage on that one.
[2056.3s] And Russ, I'm gonna bonus action a second wind
[2059.8s] and recoup some HP.
[2061.6s] Do it.
[2063.6s] Uh, so that is an extra 23 hit points.
[2068.6s] Well, this lovely dwarf is healing himself.
[2071.3s] Tiamat brings her black head down
[2074.0s] right in front of him, lines it up
[2076.4s] and emits 120 foot line of 10 feet wide acid.
[2082.3s] You engulf Flint,
[2083.8s] but that would be the only one that you hit.
[2085.7s] Okay.
[2086.9s] Uh, unless you are also immune, Flint.
[2090.6s] I am not.
[2091.4s] I'm going to do a DC 27 dex saving throw.
[2095.8s] Man, see, like,
[2096.7s] I think it's gotta be a crit or I fail it.
[2099.4s] Like, nope.
[2103.8s] Actually, you know what?
[2105.0s] I'm gonna indomitable this
[2106.9s] and reroll a failed save
[2109.0s] because I mean, why not?
[2112.8s] Crit fail.
[2113.7s] So that's a good reroll followed by a nine.
[2116.4s] So, nope.
[2118.0s] Okay, sorry.
[2118.9s] 15 D8 minus 15.
[2121.0s] That's 48 acid.
[2125.5s] A revolting and vile smelling acid comes pouring out
[2130.1s] of the nostrils and mouth of this dragon engulfing you.
[2134.4s] Your skin boils and burns as it engulfs you entirely.
[2140.8s] And you are standing in a pile of acid.
[2145.1s] Tiamat's eyes widen when Flint is still standing.
[2151.1s] What do I have to do to kill you?
[2154.7s] Try harder, I guess.
[2156.5s] As Lady Laryl Silverhand stands up off the ground.
[2161.5s] All right, you're still here.
[2162.8s] I'm still here.
[2165.0s] I make, I have regrets.
[2167.2s] Yeah, well, don't we all join the regret club?
[2171.0s] She stands up and you see her eyes glow
[2177.0s] and she says, stop and Tiamat and the air freeze in place.
[2192.1s] And she says, we don't have a lot of time.
[2196.6s] What can we do?
[2201.0s] Oh God, well, we can chop her up right now.
[2205.9s] We have exactly six seconds.
[2210.0s] Well, fuck, do you have any potions
[2212.0s] you can give my friends over here?
[2214.9s] Yeah, just like, what's the game plan here?
[2216.7s] Do you have any dragon slaying arrows?
[2218.6s] Do you like, like?
[2220.1s] Can you signal everyone outside?
[2224.2s] She calls the hippogriff down and it lands beside her
[2228.8s] and she says, move fast and bring many.
[2232.7s] And it flies out and leaves.
[2238.0s] Nularaaaa, you get a turn before this spell.
[2242.9s] Dope.
[2245.3s] So Tiamat is frozen in place until your turn is over.
[2251.5s] So can I just, I just can do damage?
[2254.0s] You can just do damage.
[2255.2s] Fucking sweet.
[2257.0s] Still has, still has resistances and stuff,
[2259.9s] but yeah, and immunities.
[2263.8s] 41 damage on the first.
[2267.0s] Damn.
[2270.3s] A scratch.
[2273.5s] Hey, you're frozen.
[2275.1s] Quiet, you.
[2275.9s] You hear thoughts of Tiamat.
[2278.9s] Oh God, she can get in our heads?
[2280.2s] No.
[2282.3s] 31 on the second.
[2286.3s] And since Donnie goes on my turn, he's gonna go bite her.
[2293.2s] Cause he can.
[2295.6s] Donnie, Donnie.
[2297.6s] 23 piercing damage.
[2300.4s] I don't believe his bite is magical.
[2302.8s] Donnie goes up to the face of one of the dragon heads
[2306.3s] and starts scratching at the eye of the red dragon.
[2310.5s] As Tiamat unfreezes on your turn.
[2323.0s] Immediately Tiamat casts frightful presence
[2326.6s] on what is the lady's name?
[2328.3s] Lady Leral Silverhand.
[2331.0s] And on Nularaaaa.
[2332.9s] It's a DC 26 wisdom saving.
[2335.4s] Yes.
[2336.2s] Oh my God, these saves are insane.
[2338.2s] Oh, sorry.
[2339.8s] Okay.
[2341.0s] But like I believe in you, Karla.
[2341.8s] Well, I have advantage on saving throws,
[2344.6s] but let me just.
[2347.1s] What happens when you have double advantage?
[2349.4s] Do I get to roll four times?
[2350.6s] Still just advantage.
[2352.5s] Oh, double secret.
[2354.2s] Hunter's Mark also has advantage.
[2356.5s] Lady Leral fails.
[2358.2s] I mean, obviously.
[2359.3s] She is frightened.
[2361.8s] What was it?
[2362.9s] Wisdom?
[2364.0s] Yep.
[2365.3s] And there's literally no way I can not fail this,
[2368.2s] but 15.
[2370.3s] Tiamat looks down to you, Nularaaaa.
[2373.0s] And to Lady Silverhand.
[2377.5s] And all five heads let out the most enormous roar yet.
[2385.7s] The walls shake and you feel the need to run.
[2393.5s] And then Tiamat basically pounces.
[2398.5s] On Flint Firebeard, claw, claw,
[2401.9s] and trying to tail him right through his wall.
[2404.9s] Trying to rip you a new one.
[2407.9s] So that's a 36 to hit.
[2411.4s] Barely.
[2412.3s] It's a 34 to hit and a 28 to hit.
[2416.6s] Yeah, those all hit.
[2420.6s] Russ, I should have got some better armor for this fight.
[2423.9s] I gave you a lot of downtime before this, guys.
[2426.1s] I'm just saying.
[2426.9s] You know we don't use downtime well.
[2430.4s] We just go get drunk, I'm like.
[2436.0s] Now all of Tiamat's attacks
[2437.3s] are considered magical, correct?
[2438.6s] Yes.
[2439.5s] Okay.
[2440.8s] 29 down.
[2442.6s] Two huge crushing blows come down on top of you
[2446.4s] and you feel your skin rip
[2449.5s] as Tiamat's tail knocks you hard into the ground.
[2453.9s] And Tiamat stands up like,
[2455.5s] well, that should do it.
[2459.0s] I just kind of dust myself off.
[2466.2s] Thea.
[2467.4s] Yeah?
[2468.3s] The cloud of poisonous gas is dissipating around you.
[2474.8s] I go.
[2479.4s] And I look her straight in her eyes.
[2482.7s] Um.
[2484.3s] How long have we been fighting for?
[2487.8s] This is round one, two, three.
[2490.5s] So like 18 seconds?
[2494.0s] Fuck.
[2499.9s] Can I hold a concentration spell
[2501.6s] while also casting like an abjuration spell?
[2506.3s] No.
[2507.1s] No, or a conjuration spell?
[2509.7s] It's also concentration.
[2511.6s] Fuck up.
[2513.2s] I'm fucked, I'm fucked.
[2516.2s] You know that's trouble when fuck has two syllables.
[2518.9s] That's not a good sign.
[2519.9s] Well, you know, I'm like, okay,
[2522.4s] there's one thing I can do
[2524.0s] that can create damage to this creature,
[2526.5s] like the one of my spells,
[2528.2s] but that stops me from casting any of my other spells.
[2532.6s] Yeah, but if you can guarantee some damage,
[2534.8s] I think that's better than not guaranteeing damage.
[2537.1s] Yep, that's true.
[2537.9s] All right, I had cool things, but.
[2541.3s] It's just, you know,
[2542.6s] we're probably gonna fight for more than a minute.
[2544.8s] I'm going to shine my super cool sleuth tool in your face
[2552.1s] for a brilliant beam of sunlight,
[2554.4s] and you need to make your constitution saving throw.
[2558.2s] I pass.
[2559.0s] I thought you might.
[2561.1s] So you can take half of my 68 radiant damage.
[2566.2s] 35.
[2568.1s] I'm gonna say take that asshole
[2570.8s] and I'm going to move.
[2575.2s] How well do you think I could throw something
[2579.9s] for Guacamole to catch?
[2584.0s] I mean, Guacamole still has 60 feet of movement.
[2587.0s] Can she just come to me
[2587.8s] and I can just give her something?
[2589.7s] Sure.
[2590.6s] I'm gonna hand her my ring of spell storing,
[2593.2s] and I'm gonna whisper, take this to Nulara.
[2597.3s] Anyone can cast a spells on the ring of spell storing.
[2600.5s] It's true.
[2601.4s] Does Nulara know what's in the ring of spell storing?
[2603.8s] Cause sometimes you don't.
[2607.3s] I will shout them to her.
[2611.8s] Okay.
[2613.2s] You give Guacamole,
[2614.2s] so her full movement is getting to you.
[2616.0s] So she is now at you.
[2617.1s] So she has to still wait probably three turns
[2620.5s] to get to her.
[2621.4s] No, 30 feet gets her to me
[2623.1s] and then she can move back to where she is.
[2625.4s] Okay.
[2627.3s] She still has to fly over.
[2628.1s] Oh little elf, let's see how well you breathe lightning.
[2632.0s] Not at all.
[2632.8s] And Tiamat responds to the attack
[2635.7s] with a 120 foot line, 10 feet wide lightning strike
[2640.8s] aimed at Thea.
[2643.1s] Fuck.
[2644.0s] 10 feet wide.
[2646.2s] That's real wide.
[2647.7s] That is a DC 27 dexterity saving throw.
[2651.5s] Why didn't we all become monks?
[2653.0s] That would have been really smart.
[2654.6s] Great question.
[2655.7s] Okay.
[2657.7s] So dexterous.
[2659.4s] Well, I'm sorry,
[2661.4s] Tom, it's like you're a monk.
[2662.6s] You get seven attacks.
[2663.7s] That's true.
[2664.8s] I mean, I get a lot of attacks.
[2666.1s] Was this an attack or was it instantaneous?
[2668.8s] It's a saving throw.
[2669.9s] So you have to make a saving throw.
[2671.9s] I guess my cloak means nothing.
[2674.4s] No.
[2675.7s] That True Sight thing probably trumps your cloak anyway.
[2678.5s] It does.
[2679.4s] Fucking True Sight.
[2680.2s] Oh God damn it.
[2681.0s] Fucking dragons and their fucking amazingness.
[2684.2s] Can I be a dragon next time?
[2685.6s] Cause like they're rad as hell.
[2687.6s] Yeah.
[2688.4s] But do we have the option of playing as a dragon?
[2690.6s] You can all be dragons in my new world.
[2696.2s] Well, I have plus one to my saving throw.
[2699.2s] That'll help.
[2701.0s] You gotta make a 27.
[2701.8s] That'll totally make a 27.
[2704.4s] I can't even get a 27.
[2705.5s] No, you can't.
[2706.4s] You fail.
[2708.8s] It was a 17.
[2710.0s] I was only 10 off.
[2711.6s] So I believe the white head lightning.
[2714.3s] I was like, no, it's cold.
[2715.6s] Blue head lightning is a 16 D10.
[2719.1s] Oh my God.
[2720.0s] Oh my God.
[2721.5s] Oh my gosh.
[2724.0s] I got 99.
[2726.3s] I would also like to say
[2727.6s] this is the first time I've taken damage
[2729.6s] and it's almost murdered me.
[2732.8s] Out of this blue dragon's mouth,
[2734.8s] a burning hot lightning
[2738.4s] rains down upon you.
[2740.0s] Bolts coming to and from,
[2742.9s] and your skin begins to burn.
[2746.0s] Welts and boils begin to appear.
[2749.6s] Your cloak, holes get torn through it.
[2755.4s] You fall to your knees.
[2759.0s] Oh God.
[2760.5s] You look up and you see the smiling face
[2763.4s] of this blue dragon in front of you.
[2768.9s] It is Flint's turn.
[2772.4s] Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
[2775.4s] All right.
[2776.3s] I would like to drink one of these
[2778.1s] like life essence potions that we got
[2780.7s] that you didn't tell us what they actually did,
[2782.3s] but I'm gonna roll the dice on this one.
[2783.7s] So you pop the lid of life essence
[2789.7s] and you regain 10 D4 plus 20 hit points.
[2795.5s] Hit points.
[2797.5s] Okay.
[2804.1s] So that is 27 plus 20, so 47 hit points of damage.
[2808.5s] Points of health?
[2811.5s] Yes.
[2812.3s] Reverses damage.
[2814.2s] You weren't giving something to yourself.
[2815.8s] Yeah.
[2816.6s] Oh yeah.
[2817.4s] That's it, I'm done.
[2818.3s] Peace.
[2820.2s] See you guys later.
[2821.2s] It was fun.
[2822.0s] See you in the afterlife.
[2822.9s] Sure.
[2824.2s] I guess no better time like the present
[2826.6s] to just keep hacking away.
[2829.2s] Let's go little man.
[2831.3s] Let's do this.
[2833.2s] All right.
[2834.1s] First one is a 29.
[2835.8s] It's to hit, yes.
[2837.4s] 19 points of damage.
[2841.7s] Second one is a 31.
[2844.3s] It's a hit.
[2846.6s] 12 points of damage.
[2849.2s] Bad roll.
[2850.5s] We're doing it.
[2852.4s] Um, third one is a 27.
[2855.1s] I can't remember if that hits or not.
[2856.4s] That's a hit.
[2857.2s] Okay.
[2859.0s] It's 15 points of damage.
[2861.5s] And fourth and final is a 29 again.
[2865.7s] That's a hit.
[2868.8s] Re-roll that damage.
[2871.3s] So that is 21 points of damage.
[2874.0s] Yeah.
[2877.8s] Okay, pieces of her scales are starting to fall off.
[2882.0s] She's dripping ichor.
[2884.0s] And she brings her red head right over Flint
[2889.1s] and releases a 90 foot cone of roaring flame.
[2892.4s] It just holds it over him.
[2893.9s] Trying to roast the little thing alive.
[2897.7s] I mean, that seems fair.
[2899.3s] So that is a DC 27, text 36.
[2902.3s] I mean, I'll try again.
[2906.7s] Ooh, this is 17 on the base roll.
[2908.4s] That's not bad.
[2909.9s] Hey, another 17.
[2911.7s] Consistency is key.
[2913.1s] Right over top.
[2916.6s] Yeah, Nularaaaia, you're gonna be in that splash zone.
[2920.6s] Cool.
[2923.4s] Great, I love it.
[2924.3s] Thanks so much.
[2925.1s] I mean, could I have moved
[2926.0s] maybe 10 feet to one direction?
[2927.6s] Maybe less than that.
[2929.3s] So Russ, do you want to roll 16 D8 for me?
[2933.4s] No, sorry, that's wrong.
[2935.6s] It's 26 D6 for fire.
[2939.0s] Oh, I guess I get to try to save though.
[2941.5s] Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[2944.5s] You can do this.
[2945.4s] Not that time, only a 24.
[2950.5s] And that one's worth a shot though.
[2956.9s] Worth a shot.
[2959.3s] Tiamat opens her mouth and a blanket of fire
[2966.7s] pours down on Flint and catches Nularaaaia
[2970.4s] and 94 fire damage is dealt.
[2977.1s] Cool, cool, cool, cool.
[2980.0s] And Nularaaaia falls to the ground, unconscious.
[2983.4s] Oh God.
[2984.3s] Finally, one of you falls to my might.
[2992.8s] Hey question, how dead do I have to be
[2995.3s] to be really dead?
[2996.5s] Half?
[2997.8s] Half.
[3003.1s] I'm really dead.
[3005.7s] No.
[3006.6s] Like actually dead?
[3007.4s] I'm really actually dead.
[3015.2s] I totally started crying.
[3017.9s] Oh, Karla.
[3020.4s] Oh my goodness.
[3021.6s] I kind of knew it was gonna happen
[3023.1s] but I didn't think I'd like be so upset.
[3029.4s] The flames pour out on top of Flint.
[3033.0s] He has no hair left.
[3036.2s] His skin and armor is beginning to melt together.
[3041.6s] The flames roll out and strike Nularaaaia
[3046.7s] and she lets out a scream.
[3054.4s] Her clothes light on fire.
[3056.8s] She falls to her knees
[3059.7s] and she in a charred mess falls to the ground.
[3071.1s] I hate this game again.
[3074.2s] Lady Leral Silverhand's turn is up
[3078.2s] and she sees this from across the way
[3080.9s] but she's frightened of everything
[3084.0s] that's happening right now.
[3085.6s] It's fair.
[3086.4s] And she turns and runs.
[3089.0s] She doesn't know where she's running to
[3090.8s] but she is running away from Tiamat now.
[3095.1s] She gets to save, try to save again.
[3097.4s] DC 26 was a great save.
[3099.8s] DC 26 wisdom.
[3102.4s] That's a 23, yeah.
[3106.3s] She continues to run away.
[3112.3s] It is or was Nularaaaia's turn.
[3117.8s] Donnie watches as the flames roll out
[3123.5s] and hit Nularaaaia.
[3127.1s] His best friend.
[3133.6s] And he turns and eyes up
[3138.5s] the enormous dragon queen.
[3143.0s] Not thinking about what damage he will cause
[3147.5s] but only seeking vengeance.
[3152.9s] Okay, well, then that's what Donnie's gonna try and do.
[3164.7s] He's gonna fly up
[3168.4s] and try and bite one of the moving heads.
[3172.4s] Like he's being irrational.
[3177.0s] That is a 25, just enough.
[3182.3s] Don't think.
[3184.3s] That's a hit.
[3185.2s] Oh, Donnie.
[3186.8s] Okay.
[3188.7s] So that is 10 damage, 10 piercing damage.
[3193.8s] He's gonna try again and he is going to fail.
[3200.4s] He got that 10 damage though.
[3201.6s] Yeah, he did.
[3204.0s] And then I think he just like flies back down
[3206.7s] and just like kind of collapses.
[3212.2s] Lays beside Nularaaaia's body.
[3217.7s] It's Tiamat's turn.
[3221.0s] Tiamat snarls and goes to bite Flint to swallow him.
[3229.0s] You will join me in my lair.
[3231.8s] That's a 30 to hit.
[3233.7s] Yep.
[3235.1s] This bite, are you going to just gulp and swallow
[3237.3s] or are you going to chew?
[3238.5s] She's going to bite him.
[3240.1s] Okay.
[3240.9s] Let's make sure he's dead first.
[3243.7s] Nine.
[3245.0s] Oh my God.
[3246.0s] 10, 11, 12 minus five, negative three.
[3248.2s] You get three health points.
[3250.2s] Three, a healing bite.
[3252.2s] So that doesn't do anything.
[3253.0s] Wait a minute, 46.
[3254.6s] I wrote really bad.
[3256.4s] 46 minus 50, that's even harder.
[3260.9s] I literally do zero damage.
[3264.0s] She caresses Flint with her tongue,
[3265.9s] letting him know what's coming.
[3268.4s] Thea, you are on your knees, burnt.
[3273.1s] You look up and you see Nularaaaia fall.
[3278.0s] She from what you can see is clearly dead.
[3282.7s] Flint gets licked in the face.
[3284.4s] I'm going to save this one for later.
[3287.6s] What do you do?
[3288.5s] Thea is super fucking confused.
[3292.2s] I take out my life essence and I drink it.
[3295.1s] Okay.
[3295.9s] That's right.
[3298.2s] I'm not going to die yet.
[3303.2s] Sorry, do I have to be completely silent now?
[3305.0s] Cause I'm dead.
[3305.8s] No, you do not.
[3307.4s] 10d4 plus 20.
[3309.8s] You gain back 48.
[3313.6s] That's pretty good.
[3314.5s] That's better than I got last time.
[3315.3s] There's a lot of fours in there.
[3316.5s] Yeah, okay.
[3317.3s] Only a couple ones.
[3318.5s] Yeah.
[3322.3s] Make it big.
[3323.4s] I'm going to run.
[3328.4s] No, no, no, I'm not just going to run.
[3331.4s] Why didn't we think of that from the get go?
[3334.2s] Sorry, I'm going to run.
[3336.1s] All the way to silvery moon.
[3338.1s] I'm running towards the fucking dragon.
[3339.5s] Okay.
[3340.8s] And as I run and I hit my last step,
[3344.1s] I open up my tome of thunder step.
[3347.2s] I say, funda funda malo amat mac uro.
[3350.3s] And I transport myself over to where Flint is.
[3355.0s] And Tiamat, she will take 3d10 thunder damage
[3359.0s] or half that con saving throw.
[3363.0s] 22, does that say 22?
[3365.5s] Yes, it does.
[3366.6s] So you'll take half of my 3d10.
[3369.2s] So that's 10 damage, 10 thunder damage.
[3373.2s] Thunder booms out 300 feet away.
[3375.1s] So you take five.
[3376.8s] So not much, but now I am,
[3381.0s] I'm putting myself by Nulara, like right there.
[3386.1s] Any rebuttal?
[3387.3s] Yep, where is she?
[3388.6s] Yeah, good luck finding me.
[3389.9s] She is beside Nulara's charred remains.
[3393.7s] Oh, the one who thinks she's invisible.
[3396.2s] Her white head tracks the invisible Thea
[3400.7s] and releases a 90 foot cone of cold
[3404.8s] over in her direction.
[3406.6s] This is the start of a new round, right?
[3408.6s] Yes, sir.
[3409.5s] I had a reaction.
[3412.1s] Well, you can say something if you want to.
[3414.0s] That is a DC 27 dex save.
[3416.5s] Go fuck yourself, that's what I say.
[3418.3s] DC 27 dex.
[3424.4s] Well, an 18 plus two is 20.
[3427.9s] I mean, it's a very good roll.
[3429.1s] It's a great roll.
[3430.1s] It's a good roll.
[3430.9s] It's 16d6, Russ.
[3432.8s] It's just not good enough.
[3433.6s] 16d6?
[3435.1s] No, d8, sorry, 16d8 cold damage.
[3437.9s] Well, just when you give them hope.
[3440.4s] Yeah, that would have been no problem.
[3441.4s] Yeah, because the 16d6 was full of hope.
[3444.2s] Could be a lot of ones.
[3446.2s] Please be a lot of ones.
[3447.4s] That applies to any dice roll, Russ.
[3450.2s] 67, as a blizzard enters the room,
[3456.5s] your skin, which just healed, is now freezing.
[3461.0s] You feel it in your extremities,
[3463.6s] cut down to your bones as your flesh begins to freeze.
[3468.4s] You are next, little one.
[3474.0s] Flint.
[3475.8s] Well, is there any sort of like crazy dwarven
[3479.2s] almost dead rage that I can channel?
[3482.2s] I mean, you probably still have one of those
[3483.4s] other good healing potions.
[3484.6s] I mean, I would have thought
[3485.9s] we would have split them three ways,
[3487.3s] but if Amy already had one, maybe I did.
[3488.9s] No, not that one, just the other one.
[3491.5s] Yeah, we also got three rare healing potions.
[3494.0s] Oh yeah, the other one.
[3494.9s] Sorry, I'm deadish.
[3495.7s] This is me from beyond the grave.
[3497.7s] Whisper.
[3498.5s] Take your potion.
[3499.4s] Yeah, I still do have an uncommon healing potion.
[3501.8s] WWND, what would Nulara do?
[3505.4s] And probably a rare.
[3506.6s] Or I've got an uncommon and a rare.
[3509.0s] Oh yeah, rare is much better.
[3511.3s] Okay, well yeah, I'm gonna drink
[3513.4s] this rare healing potion.
[3515.6s] Okay.
[3517.6s] Pray for the gods a lot of fours show up.
[3520.0s] Well, that's a couple threes.
[3521.0s] I'm on board with that.
[3521.9s] So 29 hit points coming back at me.
[3524.9s] I mean, I could survive one more round, who knows?
[3529.5s] Yeah, yeah, you can.
[3531.0s] Okay, I'm gonna do my four attacks.
[3536.0s] It's all I've got left at this point.
[3538.6s] So that's 34, I think that's gonna be okay.
[3541.0s] I believe that's a hit.
[3544.0s] 15 damage on the first one.
[3548.8s] That is a 29, that's a hit.
[3552.7s] It's 19 hit points of damage.
[3555.6s] Yes.
[3558.5s] This one is another 31.
[3561.0s] That's a hit.
[3564.4s] That is 17 hit points of damage.
[3568.8s] Fourth attack is a 28.
[3575.0s] And that is 19 hit points of damage.
[3580.4s] And you know what?
[3581.7s] Just for shits and giggles,
[3583.0s] we're gonna action search
[3584.2s] and throw one more attack at that.
[3585.8s] Do it.
[3587.8s] Might as well use it before the inevitable happens.
[3592.6s] So that is a 30.
[3594.1s] That's a hit.
[3599.5s] 21 hit points of damage.
[3604.8s] She brings her red head right over Flint,
[3607.8s] the flame starting to boil out and goes,
[3611.6s] it was good, well it's it.
[3615.3s] And she screams as her whole body
[3617.7s] begins to cave in on itself.
[3619.6s] She's screaming, the head spiraling around
[3622.5s] and she's trying to launch her fire attack
[3624.9s] and it just engulfs her in a roar of flame
[3627.4s] as she's sucked back into the portal.
[3630.8s] What? What?
[3631.8s] What?
[3639.6s] The lights and the fire and the heat
[3642.6s] in an instant after your barrage of assault extinguishes.
[3650.5s] You're left in a silent room.
[3655.6s] You and Thea and Lady Laryl Silverhand
[3659.1s] look upon the rubble and the wreckage.
[3664.5s] And you hear the fading sounds of battle
[3668.8s] coming from outside the temple of Tiamat.
[3673.8s] Text on screen.
[3703.8s] The view pans down to Nulara, curled up,
[3712.5s] and it flashes to an untouched blade.
[3718.2s] The eyes glow a deep, dark red.
[3725.0s] And then suddenly, before anyone sees, they go out.
[3733.8s] She said, oh good, you are dessert, and with that, she attacks.
[3748.3s] God, I thought she was just gonna eat me.
[3750.3s] I was like, is she dressed to eat me?
[3752.3s] God, that's how it goes, hey, I mean.
[3753.6s] Real baller move.
[3754.5s] I know, right?
[3755.3s] Queen, queen, I guess.
[3756.1s] I'd be like, I'm gonna go watch TV.
[3757.2s] Everybody roll for initiative.
[3760.5s] For fuck's sake.
[3761.5s] Oh, that's a 19.
[3762.6s] Fucking teen.
[3764.5s] 19.
[3765.4s] Sorry, I'm screaming at you, I don't care.
[3766.6s] It's the last episode, I don't care.
[3767.8s] I get it.
[3768.7s] Eight.
[3769.6s] Wait, plus, I don't even know what.
[3771.9s] Hold on, give me a sec.
[3772.9s] Plus 27.
[3773.7s] Yeah, it's probably 35.
[3776.1s] I only.
[3777.0s] No, look at that.
[3777.8s] I don't get a dex bonus.
[3779.5s] No.
[3780.8s] It's an eight.
[3781.6s] Good to know.
[3783.0s] Only 13 for me.
[3785.7s] 17 for me, Russ.
[3786.7s] Weird.
[3787.8s] Oh my God, yes.
[3790.6s] It is my time.
[3791.4s] Not that any of my spells fucking work.
[3792.4s] I'm the most useless person in this room right now.
[3795.8s] Well, I'm gonna cast a fucking level seven spell.
[3802.6s] Thea goes, fuck no.
[3804.3s] And casts.
[3807.4s] I'm gonna say, wait.
[3810.3s] Oh.
[3811.3s] Because you can cast anything at a level seven.
[3814.4s] Oh, I can?
[3815.3s] I'm just saying.
[3817.2s] That's the only help you're gonna get.
[3818.8s] Thanks, thanks man.
[3821.0s] Aside from putting the oil thing on the blade.
[3823.4s] Yeah.
[3824.2s] All right.
[3825.4s] Everybody gets one help during this.
[3827.3s] That's yours.
[3828.2s] You got the oil thing.
[3829.0s] All right.
[3829.8s] So you've got one.
[3830.9s] Okay.
[3832.6s] Okay.
[3834.1s] So I take out a magnifying glass.
[3838.2s] It's a novelty sized magnifying glass.
[3840.0s] The biggest tray that we've ever seen.
[3842.0s] She's like, it's real fucking big.
[3846.4s] Yeah.
[3848.1s] Was that 10 additional cold or 10 of the 26 was cold?
[3851.0s] 10 of the 26 is cold.
[3852.4s] Thank you.
[3854.8s] Okay.
[3855.6s] I have a lot of things to track over here.
[3857.0s] That's what you're saying.
[3857.8s] Go ahead.
[3858.6s] You're fine.
[3859.5s] I could barely do the math
[3860.3s] for what I should, my attack should be.
[3862.2s] So I'm not one to judge.
[3865.4s] And she does something fantastic.
[3868.5s] Hopefully.
[3870.0s] Yeah.
[3870.8s] Among ladies, Lero Silverhand.
[3874.4s] Yeah.
[3876.0s] I mean, I have advantage on deck saves,
[3878.1s] but I don't think I could roll a 27, even if I crit.
[3881.1s] So yeah.
[3882.4s] Well, if I had a rolled a 19 or a 20,
[3884.9s] I would have saved it, but that's it.
[3887.0s] That's the only, so.
[3889.3s] Well, yeah.
[3890.2s] But I mean, last time poofs, poof.
[3893.8s] Well, that's because they were targeted.
[3899.0s] My watch just said, take a pill.
[3903.5s] It's good advice for right now.
[3905.3s] Time to breathe, Siri says.
[3907.5s] I wish I had more beer.
[3908.7s] My face is so red.
[3910.3s] I know, me too.
[3911.2s] I'm like, I'm sweating so much.
[3913.8s] I know, I should have worn a t-shirt.
[3915.5s] I'm really regretting it.
[3916.3s] I have a good choice to die.
[3918.6s] I can't secretly text you
[3919.7s] if you have your notifications on.
[3921.2s] I'm like, sorry.
[3924.6s] I actually, I just thought he was getting
[3926.5s] a random text and then I looked at Russ
[3928.2s] and I can totally see him holding his phone.
[3929.9s] Like, come on to you.
[3932.1s] Come on to you Rushmore.
[3934.4s] Flint, unless, unless there's any rebuttal, Flint.
[3939.5s] There is no rebuttal.
[3940.8s] Oh wait, this is a new turn.
[3942.9s] This is a new turn.
[3945.3s] Well, in that case, allow me to rebut.
[3948.9s] Fuck.
[3950.7s] Well, it would.
[3952.0s] But I'm poison resistant.
[3954.7s] If you're.
[3955.5s] That doesn't mean you're immune.
[3957.4s] It's a DC 27 con see.
[3958.7s] Wait, no, hold on.
[3959.7s] But I think she takes half, right?
[3962.2s] Wait for it.
[3964.6s] I'm pretty sure you're immune.
[3965.8s] Flint's resistant.
[3967.4s] My soft human flesh is not resistant.
[3970.3s] Immunity.
[3971.1s] Well, that will take care of the elf.
[3972.8s] Which one?
[3973.6s] Immunity.
[3974.7s] Well, that takes.
[3975.5s] Immune to poison.
[3986.7s] That's not gonna help, sorry guys.
[3990.0s] Oh, okay.
[3992.8s] It's okay.
[3993.6s] That's what this episode is gonna be called.
[3994.8s] That's not gonna help.
[3996.4s] That's not gonna help.
[3997.2s] Sorry guys.
[4001.1s] I feel like I'm looking at my entire spell list going,
[4003.9s] well, that's not gonna help.
[4005.0s] Yeah, totally.
[4005.8s] Sorry guys.
[4007.5s] I am going to.
[4011.2s] Can you scroll up just for a second?
[4016.3s] You're good, keep going.
[4018.1s] Not at all.
[4019.1s] I don't think that's a good sign, Amy.
[4023.1s] Russ and Sean both have these like,
[4025.3s] shmarm-y little grins on their faces.
[4027.7s] Don't be giving him secret information
[4029.3s] about my spell sheet.
[4030.3s] He's trying to help you against my better judgment.
[4033.0s] Sean, don't help me, it's okay.
[4035.1s] It might be the day.
[4037.3s] You will join me in my lair.
[4040.6s] That came out more sexual than I thought.
[4042.6s] Yeah, a little booty call from Tiamat.
[4045.7s] I bet all her stuff is covered
[4047.2s] with like this anti-slip coating.
[4050.7s] Totally.
[4052.4s] How does that even happen?
[4053.8s] You ain't putting kid gloves on over there, Sean, are you?
[4055.8s] I'm not.
[4056.7s] Don't put Tiamat, man.
[4058.9s] You might make us all cry.
[4059.7s] I don't think the dice would have landed on me
[4061.2s] if he was putting kid gloves on.
[4062.0s] I literally rolled a 12 on the 40, 10,
[4064.2s] and I just rolled, I can take a picture if you want,
[4066.6s] three, four, five, six, seven, eight on the 46.
[4069.6s] All right.
[4070.4s] And I have to subtract 15 from each, don't I?
[4072.6s] Yeah, yeah.
[4073.6s] I'm assuming my concentration has been broken.
[4078.8s] There's no way you could have made that concentration safe.
[4080.6s] I mean, that's a lot of damage
[4081.8s] to keep concentrations reduced.
[4084.0s] You just-
[4084.8s] There is a roll you can make to see if she holds it.
[4086.6s] Yeah, it's half damage though,
[4088.0s] and she took like 90, yeah,
[4089.6s] so it would have been like a 47 save DC.
[4095.7s] Yeah, good luck finding me.
[4097.1s] She is beside Nularaaa's charred remains.
[4100.8s] Fuck, too soon.
[4102.6s] When you put it like that.
[4103.4s] God.
[4104.3s] Yeah, it's really soon.
[4105.1s] It was like 12 seconds ago.
[4106.5s] I came over literally to be like my fallen friend.
[4112.8s] Ah, the charred remains of my fallen friend.
[4115.1s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.